This week on “Wait, So is this a night out together?” we’re accompanied by Autostraddle President and

L Term

specialist
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. You got that right! This episode is all about lesbian interconnectivity — hooking up with friends’ exes, friends setting up with your exes, plus the culture created by everything crisis.

Come when it comes down to news, stay for psychological processing. And before that enjoy a game that exams Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking wouldn’t normally.)

Thanks a lot for all the nice feedback after all of our premier! When you yourself haven’t but consider giving us a rating or review!

SHOW NOTES

+ 5 years ago Riese put together an
Old Hollywood data
that’s the intersection of my passions.

+ Discover
the article
We reference where I mention setting up with my roommates.

+ My personal crush regarding the few days Mj Rodriguez introduced a songs video clip for her tune
“one thing to state”
!

+ As somebody who has only seen a small number of attacks of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush for the few days C.C. Babcock was actually shocking in my experience when it turned-out she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina tells me they fundamentally nonetheless tend to be.)

---

Drew:

I might end up being really okay along with it present. I might never add somebody else without their own permission. But the notion of everytime some one was like, “concur that you will be attached to me personally,” I’d resemble, “Yeah, oahu is the existence I stayed. Really don’t worry about.” Is strange? Is that a problem?

Christina:

No, as if I happened to ben’t, i’d feel terrible not being. I would end up like, “Wait, I’m not sleeping?”

Theme song plays

Drew:

Hi, I Am Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And introducing

Wait, Is This A Date?

Christina:


Wait, Is This A Romantic Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big concerns. Firstly, could it possibly be a date? Exactly what are times? Who’re times? Do we like times? They are the sort of concerns that individuals address on this subject here extremely pro and lovely podcast.

Drew:

My name is Drew Gregory. I’m a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

My name is Christina Tucker. I am also a writer at Autostraddle. I’m a loud queer on the web. I am getting better at describing my self as an author and, notoriously, a lesbian. That’s all of us. Which is which we are.

Drew:

Yeah. So the major subject this week may be the Chart.

Christina:

I recently believed it needed a sting. I’m not sure. That thought truly dramatic, but i believe it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, please. Thanks, thank-you. No, no, no. The suitable level of crisis.

Christina:

Many thanks.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re speaking about lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I love that expression given that it sounds like you will need to resume the lesbians. It may sound like web connection isn’t operating.

Drew:

Yes. It’s very advanced level, very advanced, additionally has existed since there has been lesbians, I think.

Christina:

Yeah. I believe scholars would state as soon as they discovered the most important lesbian fossils, they discovered an information alongside ones created to the sand. And that I think’s what that movie is all about, correct? It’s about the information? That motion picture with Kate Winslet while the sand fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it’s about.

Drew:

If only

Ammonite

was about cave women. I’d view that lesbian movie.

Christina:

Well, as I have not viewed it, I’m going to courageously claim that it had been. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Since it is like we now have numerous lesbian duration parts, but we’ve never eliminated straight back that far. And that I think it’s the perfect time we do.

Christina:

Let’s only keep using it more back in its history.

Drew:

Before we get to our major topic, you are nevertheless observing all of us. And I also believed it might be fun to relax and play a casino game for which you men could truly familiarize yourself with Christina. Very the icebreaker with this week is slightly video game that I name “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I am, once again, therefore pressured about that. This could you should be the way I come into the game. This could be my online game mentality, somewhat high key, somewhat stressed. That is okay. We’re all reading.

Drew:

I do believe that’s fantastic. In my opinion that allow you to be more susceptible, maybe.

Christina:

Certainly the best emotions.

Drew:

Merely a terror, simply a serious horror. And so the manner in which “Would U-Haul” works is actually I’m going to describe a situation. Why don’t we refer to it as Christina enthusiast fiction. And I’m attending pause after each little part are want, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure which you have never ever stayed with somebody, don’t want to accept a partner. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And that I will sometimes say yes or I’ll state, “I’m prepared.”

Drew:

If you do not — well, we will see here. But I’m thrilled. In my opinion i have maybe damaged the rule.

Christina:

You damaged the rule? I am thrilled.

Drew:

Let’s see how very long this requires. And when you never would, In my opinion you win? I’m not sure how discover winners here.

Christina:

I am not sure that there exists winners inside the video game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Well, I am not sure any time you’ll trust that after that. Thus I’m going to get going.

Christina:

Fair enough.

Drew:

Okay. Very, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You’re at the buddy’s wedding ceremony. Despite the great number of romcoms you have soaked up, you did perhaps not head to this wedding ceremony thinking you had fulfill any person because, well, this is simply not a romcom. This is actually the real and normal longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You are taking the designated chair and so are glancing at your cellphone when you understand a female at your dining table is wanting at you. She presents by herself since your buddy’s previous babysitter. She’s stayed a pal on the household, but she doesn’t really know anybody there. She looks like mid-forties features a striking angular face. You start talking. She offers to enable you to get a glass or two. And when she compares, you recognize she is six legs tall, 6′ 3″ in pumps. So you know what? I am merely gonna hold on there and become want, at this point, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I’m intrigued. I’m fascinated because i would get laid during this marriage. But up to now I am not U-Hauling anywhere.

Drew:

Cool. That is totally fair. Entirely fair. Okay. So that you spend entire marriage learning each other. There’s only an immediate spark and quick biochemistry. And indeed, you will do hook up and intercourse is remarkable.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

So this wedding was at Northern Ca. And so you both expand the stays for a few days to bang and check out and eat at restaurants and screw. And you also provide to split the expense of the today mutual area, but she laughs you down and it is want, “certainly perhaps not, honey.” So that the next 3 days are miraculous. You feel your own walls tumbling all the way down. You are slipping faster than you ever have actually. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Thus only for understanding’s sake, I’m having a difficult time imagining some sort of which I got three shock times off of try to go out with individuals i actually do not know. That appears bonkers. However, if I did, great for me personally. But I’m not really U-Hauling during this period. It will be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That’s fine. You simply came across. I have it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank you a whole lot.

Drew:

So she comes back to New York and also you return to Philadelphia.

Christina:

This is where We live.

Drew:

And you are texting everyday. That is where you are living and it is in which this woman lives. And you are texting all the time therefore see both multiple times 30 days. She actually is extremely busy together job, but she is quick to purchase you a train citation so you’re able to arrive see this lady and stay at the woman gorgeous brownstone in Fort Greene. Right after which 6 months pass. Plus one night when you’re off to dinner, she requires you to move around in together with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And go on to Ny? I do not really love New York. No, I’m not transferring within six months level. I’m not undertaking that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, totally, totally. Wow. Okay. Which means you keep internet dating long distance. She knows that needed some time this woman is happy to expect you. Some more months move. Its now already been over a-year. Your landlord informs you that they are offering your home to a developer who is investing in apartments, you cannot restore it. You ought to get a hold of another place. The now gf tells you that no pressure, but the woman provide nonetheless appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this time, I would U-Haul for 2 explanations.

Drew:

Yay! Ok. Kindly tell us.

Christina:

Mostly, in a world by which my personal property manager offered the house to build it, my personal property manager happens to be my best friend, to ensure that seems like something has gone completely wrong within relationship. And I should just keep Philadelphia in any event. And if I have to go in with my girlfriend over here, that seems fine. That is fine. Entirely great. But yeah, i do believe I might require an external energy like a mean property manager.

Drew:

That is therefore — okay. I did think you would have to need casing to have there, thus I’m grateful I realized that.

Christina:

Yeah. That’s exactly what has got to occur to me personally very first.

Drew:

Really, I’m happy to know what it’s going to take. So in theory, if you weren’t knocked away, just how much more time?

Christina:

Really, that could have gone on for quite some time. Philly and ny aren’t even that not both. I managed to get space over here. We’re moving to and fro. We are having fun. I possibly could have permit that roll for a long time until i suppose Shoshana can become the worst individual i understand.

Drew:

I did not realize Shoshana possessed your own house. Really, there you are going.

Christina:

There we get. Wow, that was exciting.

Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.

Christina:

I am pressured, becoming clear.

Drew:

And I also’m happy that I know… perhaps in case you are ever before, anytime anyone’s ever online dating both you and wishes one to relocate, perhaps the girl told Shoshana to sell the house in the interest of your own union.

Christina:

Genuinely the fastest way — some body would simply have to keep in touch with Shoshana and stay like, “merely kick the girl aside.” Immediately after which she’d wind up as, “Yeah, yes. Naturally.” That might be how it took place, although she don’t promote the house. Somebody would just be like, “Can you simply stop the lady out thus she will simply conquer it and move around in beside me?” And she would say yes. One hundred percent she would do this. That is what friendship is actually.

Drew:

I enjoy that.

Christina:

Yeah, that is actually breathtaking.

Drew:

Well, i’m like we discovered loads about yourself.

Christina:

Cheers. Personally I think like I learned loads about myself personally, also. Danger of homelessness is actually the matter that keeps me personally relocating any situation, i suppose. Wow.

Drew:

Well, which is great.

Christina:

Which was really fascinating. I am similarly excited to maneuver into all of our major section because i believe making reference to lesbian connectivity with this visitor, with this particular unique guest, i believe it will likely be remarkable, Drew. How could you be experiencing?

Drew:

I’m very thrilled. This is certainly a specialist. And by that, i am talking about an

L Keyword

expert, but a little bit of an expert within the topic in front of you.

Christina:

In my opinion a few things tends to be genuine, my pal. I believe two things can be genuine certainly. Do we should introduce the visitor or do we desire our very own visitor introducing themselves?

Drew:

I might love the guest to introduce herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I’ll point out that the guest will be the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, speak.

Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. Plus its strange become the visitor!

Christina:

Yeah, really.

Riese:

I experienced never to state any such thing. I did not actually get it done. I did so state things. I experienced to sit here calmly.

Christina:

And also you were truly fearless. Plus faces happened to be valued.

Riese:

Thank-you plenty.

Christina:

Though this can be obviously an audio medium, i’d like our audience to understand that Riese was creating some good effect faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

There’s different ways becoming heard. You know what I mean? That is what i say. Im the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m also on an undefeated kickball team. And that is me. I’ve a puppy known as Carol. And I also have dated people.

Christina:

Congrats regarding kickball!

Riese:

Thank you so much. I have been associated with individuals.

Christina:

Great. Loving that. That is fantastic to create for this, this right here online dating podcast. That’s good.

Riese:

Yeah. I do believe that… will there be anything?

Drew:

No, I think which is fantastic, Riese.

Christina:

Anything you desire to share.

Riese:

I really like raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.

Christina:

In Contrast to…

Riese:

You know an individual goes like…

Drew:

Its like once you strike. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are gross, and so I simply just exhausted them from my brain.

Riese:

Yeah. And that is all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Well, we instantly considered you with this subject.

Christina:

That is correct.

Drew:

Because to start with, obviously, queer women and non-binary folks in lesbian area are like, I’m not sure, having sexual intercourse with folks exactly who people they know had intercourse with since long before

The L Word

was actually a series. But I do feel

The L Word

solidified a specific cultural concept of the information with Alice Pieszecki. And so I decided you would have a lot of insight into this subject.

Riese:

Its genuine. Two of the experts, I want to say, of

The L Word

had this actual information ones and their pals they certainly were drawing in the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, ended up being one of those. She talked to united states regarding it, they had constructed this. Because certainly, every person for the reason that blogger’s area had banged other individuals in journalist — you realize, plus the extensive internet of that generation of lesbians in la. And they also watched that and they were like, “Why don’t we place it into the program.” Many ones take the data. Like, some people which … like, actual everyone is regarding the information as a joke.

Christina:

That’s amazing. That’s the way you understand you’ve made it.

Riese:

Is not that pretty?

Christina:

That might be fascinating for my situation.

Riese:

And thus when you yourself haven’t viewed

The L Word,

first, congrats. Secondly, it will become the centerpiece of just one of one’s lead personality, Alice’s, apartment. She’s every thing over the woman wall surface. Plus it may be the title of a web site which they started known as ourchart.com that flopped. Together with idea … and it’s really in the pilot, i do believe. Inside first episode, Alice begins speaing frankly about just how everyone’s linked, because everyone’s hooked up using this person. And that I can link you, as if you’re most likely no more than two degrees from the myself. And that had been real. Like, despite Dana, that has very restricted experience because she ended up being a closeted football user, they nonetheless could link the lady. And that’s real life because it’s correct.

Christina:

Which is culture. Yeah. That’s what tradition appears like.

Riese:

That is culture. That is queer tradition immediately. Nowadays everyone can make their own charts.

Christina:

Yeah. So would definitely end up being my personal subsequent question, was have either people made a chart? Because I really don’t believe i’ve, I am also kind of now thinking like, what was this a year ago resting at my house for easily did not create a chart? Like, that which was the point of that, really?

Riese:

In my opinion I’ve accomplished it in my own record, just as like … Because I really like, I’m not sure, arranging info, i suppose, as an idea exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, i do believe which is in addition why Im surprised that You will findn’t accomplished it. I really like the concept of categorizing things.

Riese:

Right. Yeah. Because it is interesting. I don’t know exactly why it really is so interesting, however it is. It’s interesting to get love, wow, all these people, they are connected. It is untamed.

Drew:

From the tv show, when ourchart.com is actually invented, obtained an authentic chart that people can also add stuff. And that I feel something that you joked in regards to on

To L and Straight Back,

and from now on people say everyday is similar to, if this existed in a genuine way, nobody would place their names onto it, no one would feel comfortable getting their unique brands about it.

Riese:

You’ll.

Drew:

I’d. I might end up being extremely great with it existing. I would personally never ever add some other person without their particular permission. Nevertheless the idea of love, anytime some body had been like, “concur that you may be connected with me,” I’d wind up as, “Yeah, it’s the existence I’ve resided. Really don’t care about.” Usually unusual? Is problematic?

Christina:

No, as if I happened to ben’t, i’d feel bad not … I would be like, “hold off, I’m not about it? Like, i’m very sorry, exactly what?” No, that would really send myself into a light ethical anxiety about exactly who I am as you, what I’m carrying out. In the morning I interesting? Perform people {like
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